Social Network of African American Conservatives & Moderates
After commenting on a Facebook Post where a gentleman asked "what can we do about the violence; and while reading NADRA AKA CAP BLACK's Blog post "All My Babies Mamas: Tombstone For Black Families" about Atlanta rapper Shawty Lo’s upcoming reality TV series. which will be debuting in spring 2013 via Oxygen Media, as a reality TV series, which will chronicle the turbulent life of Shawty Lo, his 11 children and their 10 unwed mothers. A debut that I have trough the wesite Change.org to form an online petition to block the production.
As I was drawn to CAP BLACK statements that "A family "unit" this fractured shouldn't be celebrated", and "We are drowning in children with no home training". I begin reflecting upon the old school conservative principles that he also spoke about in another of his blog post. The principle that stands out so clearly to me when one take into account how Shawty Lo and his 10 cohorts, the Babies Mamas themselves; setting up those 11 children for failure due to total lack of "old school" conservative personal responsibility.
These were my commented thoughts on the what can we do question that were a bit lengthy, so therefore will share them again, though not truncated but in a somewhat edited version for this blog; as what I believe is a practical and attainable method of first helping our children succeed in life on individual level. And in addition how our violence ridden community can cure itself in a short period time by a challenging yet easily implemented personal plan of action. I fill strongly that the solution lie deep within this frame work; “PARENTING”, which Shawty Lo has placed himself solidly, although irresponsibly within that gene-pool…YIKES!
A friend ask me that question rhetorically 18 years ago, but specifically directed toward our black community; at a time when drugs and violence was pandemic across the nation. He posed the question after expressing his angst over the continued failure of the so –called black leadership; aka, Jessie Jackson, Al Sharpton, Maxine Waters and organizations like the NAACP, all who had not up to that point done anything viable to solve the growing problem. I expressed to him then as I advocate now; there is no magical blanketing solution that of which, those leaders could then and now, can spray out over the black community that would instantly or over time eradicate the violence or the drug epidemic, that would result in an instant cure for the ailing black community.
You know as I; however if you don't; allow to tell you that those so-called leaders are not interested in any viable solution because; they survive only by those, and other negative conditions existing. Rid the community of them; (that is the negative conditions) then they (the leaders) have no reason for existing; simply stated its job security, a personal prosperity program that through the applique of faux "good-intentions" amass huge monetary fortunes by traveling across the nation merely pointing out the obvious; and often making sure it appear publically worse than it actually is. With that said; I do have a strong thought, or rather a “logical philosophy”; that if it indeed is implemented would drastically reduce if not totally eradicate the violence in the Black community and perhaps, ultimately the nation. Listen and heed all you Shawty Lo's and Baby Mamas' out there.
Caveat; total eradication would be only in my; and maybe others if they care to join me; "UTOPIC WORLD". But why not go for it; "shoot for the stars; you may only hit the moon; shoot for the moon; you may only hit an eagle passing by". None the less, my philosophy was, and is based on the basic practical old "school principle" of family via personal responsibility; and here is how it works on the practical level personified. My friend and I both had and have three children, the oldest at the time was my 13 year old and the youngest was his 3 year old. I said to him; think about it, we both have 3 opportunities each to send productive citizens out into society and the important question is; what will we do with them, meaning those 6 separate individual opportunitiIies. Shawty Lo has 11 opportunities along with 10 assistants.
We are obligated to instill ethics of behavior that will be beneficial to society, into the very core of our children by being examples ourselves without compromise (that would be considered personal responsibility). And conversely to expect anyone else to do it for us, would be no less than to coin a phrase "parental mal-practice" and a crime perpetrated against our very own children by us; and in order to do so (be responsible) will take nothing less than willing and extreme personal sacrifice individualy on each of our behalf. I am proud to say today that the end results have proven that philosophy, espoused by this layman, with 2 women and 4 men in the black community who are well educated with either masters in their field of study or are currently working toward such. That there are no out of wedlock children; no one on drugs, or have ever used in any manner, and certainly none have participated in any deleterious acts of violence thereby causing detriment to the Black community or general society; with them all is safe.
In fact they have been models of which their contemporaries who in times pass; berated their character as being fake, selling-outs, Oreos, or even uncle Tom-ish; are now looking to them as guidelines of which to follow. And I must say that this did not come about without severe criticism that my friend and I, faced from our own then contemporaries who were; were-to-be parents them self; that he and I were setting them up to be ostracized from the community, by forcing them to carry and present them self in a ("old school") respectable manner at all times, by engaging in the proper use of the English language, as well as in appropriate public dress. Side note to this affect; when my eldest now 34 a professional with a masters, was a freshman in high school, she came home distraught one day because a number of the kids (her fellow Black schoolmates) had called her an “OREO”. Believe it or not, because I would not speak of anything negative regarding our people as to want we could not do or achieve; my daughter did not know what an "Oreo" was. However after hearing about the incident and learning of the unorthodoxed approach in the way that I had dealt with the issue; which was by simply instructing her; "just to be the best “OREO” she could be'; my dear friend in the Black community you know that went over like hell-fire being doused with gasoline; how dare I suggest that my child should comport herself in such fashion.
The lesson that I shared with my daughter that day; as I did with my latter 2 was this; “don’t EVER let anyone decide for you, who you are to be, how you are to act, or how you are to speak”. In other words you decide for yourself the "BLACK PERSON" you will be. Christopher Arps said quite nicely in an earlier post, “NO person, whether they be White, Brown, Red, Yellow, or even Black like me, have a right to control my mind or my actions by forcing me to think or believe like they do under threat of ostracization, ridicule or banishment”. I would always tell them; their problem (those Blacks that want to mold you for their own insecurity and discomfort) is not your problem. The long and the short of it; to this seemingly complex problem is really this simple; “PARENTING” ("old school conservative" personal responsibility). It was not and accident or rocket science by any stretch of the imagination, that my friend and I batted 1000 and sent 6 BLACK young adults off to university as freshman; it was literally on PURPOSE; that's old school.
It was not and accident or rocket science by any stretch of the imagination that my friend and I have no children that have never been involved in gangs, drugs, violence or out of wedlock child births; it was literally on PURPOSE; that's old school. If there is one philosophical concept that I try to get across to YOUNG BLACK PARENTS today, is this “YOU GET OUT OF YOUR CHILDREN EXACTLY WHAT YOU EXPECT”. And those expectations should in deed not be on accident or rocket science by any stretch of the imagination of them (the parents) but literally on PURPOSE ("old school" conservative principle of personal responsibility). Forgive me for this long thought on the subject; but I do think that in short this is the only way to truly stop the culture of violence. As a people we have over the last 50 years set social expectations for ourselves quite low by no longer demanding of the "Shawty Lo's and Baby Mamas" in our community personal responsibility; and now especially our young black women, now without second thought accept mal-adjusted truncated versions of what a man should be; which I am sorry to say is personified in the hip hop and rap culture, which stifles the mental and social maturity of the masses of mainly, our young Black men; that are caught up in its faux characterization of manhood. I know some of you have turned a deft ear now that I have Self-Loathingly criticized Hip Hop and Rap, but be honest and patient and follow along with me for a moment.
If you are like me and have been observant of those that I personally know and have known; and there-to-fore have witnessed 50 year olds (so-called men) acting and presenting them self as 18 year olds, never being mentally equipped to reach the cusp of the age of majority; there resulting in a dilemma which plagues many of our young Black women such as my 34 and 30 year old professional daughters, and many other young black women in our community; who are sadly, finding it extremely difficult if not impossible to encounter any compatible counterparts; whereby out of sheer despair many of them then falter, lowering their standards (which is irresponsible behavior) in an attempt to engage these unequally yoked into a meaningful, but yet most likely doomed relationship. As well, and even worst and egregiously accentuated by the "Baby Mamas" seen in those Hip Hop and Rap displays; who have disregarded all sense of personal responsibility; glorifying this abhorrent non-maternal aggrandizement; of behaving inducing it into the minds of mass numbers of our vulnerable and precious younger black women; this is who you should be in order to attract such socially mal-adjusted, by present them self in like manner dawning the debased persona, as portrayed in the world of hip hop and rap. A characterization for which; both our young black men and women, that has become a deeply set neurosis and one that the community as a whole has turned a blind eye to; because the behavior is now considered normal. And I say shame on us.
I could go on and on with cultural example of what has caused the problem with violence; but I learned long ago to focus on the solution. But one final observation of that which is endemic in the black community that, if we allow to continue as parents will exacerbate any inability, of our youth to confidently stand on principle; such as by the Life lesson reinforced in Christopher Arp's mind which again he posted earlier reflecting on Kunta Kenti, in the movie “Roots”, that Even though "the massa"; had control over Kunta's physical body, he never had control of his mind and his spirit; thereby Kunta standing on this principle; "NO person, whether they be White, Brown, Red, Yellow, or even Black like me, has a right to control my mind or my actions by forcing me to think or believe like they do under threat of ostracization, ridicule or banishment", again just "old school" conservative personal responsibility.
If we don't instill that valued principle in them from birth; they will succumb to the idiotic psychobabble of who is, and what is black, by self-ordained determinist such as the likes of ESPN's Rob Parker; in his infinite yet dumb headed and baseless wisdom; is able to designate which of us meets his protocol, and therefore is able to dawn the title of being in his opinion of "BLACK" or a "REAL BROTHER". And if their self-determined way of (being personally responsibility) presenting themselves publically does not ascribe to such; they then are relegated to carry about in life; the ostracized and castigated moniker; of being a “cornball brother” as in the case of NFL’s Washington Redskins quarterback, Robert Griffin the 3rd. a brother that according to dim wit Rob Parker; any real black man would not want to hang out with.
I will end by saying this; based on the Urban Dictionary’s definition of “Cornball Brother”, my friend and I have (through being "old school" responsible parents) sent 6 out into society, and if every black parent from this point forward ascribe to do the same; in a generation and a half; violence, drugs, gang involvement, and unwed mothers; problem; SOLVED. This is just my opinion; although it is predicated upon rather strong empirical data (we did it). According to the Urban Dictionary; A “CORNBALL BROTHER”: is An African American male (or female) who chooses not to follow the stereotype. This includes, but is not limited to, being educated, well spoken, a role model, a leader, selfless, an upstanding member of the community, and above all- humble.
This is practical and attainable, there is no need to await government funding or approval from Al Sharpton, Ben Jealous with his NAACP, the New Black Panther Party, the Democrat Party, Obama's Quid Pro Quo Black vote Payment Agenda Reimbursement Program, Four Previous years of Hoping, Four More Years of waiting to Move Forward, or any other extraneous assistance programs outside of "OLD SCHOOL CONSERVATIVE of the PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY of the “FAMILY UNIT" …NOW; may I ask, YOU and I am sure CAP BLACK would second ; WHAT in the HELL-FIRE IS WRONG OR DIFFICULT WITH THAT!